11/30/09 06:22 pm
So, I can't get a job. For some reason, my background check won't clear anywhere I've applied. I've "gotten jobs" three different times in the past month - but every time they run the background check, they're like "oh, sorry, jk. you can't work here and we can't tell you why. it has something to do with your background check not clearing."
And obviously there's no reason for that. I ran a credit report on myself, and it's perfect. So the only other thing it could be is a criminal history, or someone messed up something with my social security number. I lost my wallet two years ago, and inside was my social security card. I really, really hope someone didn't do shit under my name.
It sucks so much cause I'm broke and rent it due in two days. Dans working a lot, and can afford to pay a little more than half of rent, but it obviously isn't enough. My moms helping us out, but I hate going to my parents for that shit. Especially with Christmas coming around. It just sucks. For as lucky as I am, I'm twice as unlucky.
And it's not even money. I feel like a friggen bum sitting around without a job. It's making me really really depressed. Thankfully school starts in a month, so I'll have something to do with myself. I should just make art and take photos and take advantage of this "free time." But I'm too miserable.
I have been playing a lot of guitar lately. I've been re-learning a lot. I've set a "learn one song a week" goal for myself. I've been going to this folk jam twice a month down the road from us. It's a bunch of older people who play guitars, banjos, mandolins, violins, etc. It's amazing. Last week I played a song for them and they all went nuts. This one old guy who sings/plays guitar and is my favorite there said that I'm gunna be famous. I don't really care about being famous or not, but it was nice knowing that he liked what I was doing. I've even been writing my own stuff. Everything I write is about my obsession for the sea.
Someone tell me my life isn't as bad as I think it is, please. I think half of it is I'm just pissed I came back from six months of traveling and freedom only to be stuck in this life style again. I was so close to being completely free.